Cyriloneous ♑

04.06.2013

My body ached. Even my head. It hurt to think.

I was stressed out, so close to a panic attack.

I was a smoker.

I smoked constantly.

The smoke burned by throat.

There was pain when I inhaled.

There was pain when I exhaled.

It was a relieving sort of pain.

It was strange how the burning

pacified my racing thoughts.

I don’t even smoke in real life.

I stood in tall building with rusty, yellow lights,

overlooking a dark forest,

just breathing smoke,

knowing that if I breathed in normal air,

my thoughts wouldn’t be stable.

It was nighttime.

I was nervous.

I was alone.

Last night,

I dreamt I was eating a giant chocolate bunny.

But it was a communal bunny

so I had to share it with the village.

Last Night’s Dream: 2.25.2012 - Part One

I was invited to Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart’s wedding. (Why was it them? I don’t really know.) It was held in a 3-acre field somewhere in the country side. It was so pretty. A huge clearing surrounded by tall grasses, apple trees; everything was gleaming with a soft golden glow. Who wouldn’t want to get married in a place like this?

There were several of us without a wedding gift, so I then went with a bunch of young guests, about 15 of us, to a crowded, gray, dreary shopping mall. Forgot how it transitioned, but we ended up on a planet as big as a city — a very small planet that you can probably circumnavigate within an hour or so. The grass was neon green, the dirt was orange, rocks and pebbles were cobalt blue. Everything was vivid and neon-colored and borderline terrifying.

We were able to see Jupiter, which was as close to us as we see our moon in the sky. It was spewing strange liquid-like sparks or lava, and it continued to rain down on us. Though it felt like water to me, it hurt the others.  We sought out shelter. One of the guys in the group announced that he had a house he used to live in around the area but was probably abandoned. While searching for his old house, I passed trees heavy with apples and another tree with a dead couple that hung themselves just recently. Super creeped out, I clung to the guy in front of me. I was so frightened, I couldn’t help but grab on to the closest thing to me. He was tall with dirty blonde hair. He looked at me and talked to me so gently and with so much concern. He offered me a bite of his apple and I calmed down. I liked him. I kept close to him for a while.

We found the house and explored the interiors. Everything was covered in dust and ridden with cobwebs. We discovered a door that led to a mirrored version of the same house we were in. Left was right, right was left. As we walked through the door, the room that we were trying to leave began swirling with terrible neon yellows, hot pinks, and greens. The longer you stood in it, the slower you moved until time completely stops you.

I was the third to last to walk through. It was agonizingly difficult to move. It was like walking through a dense, gelatinous soup. I felt a surge of fear, so I pushed myself to take bigger and quicker strides to get myself closer to the door. But because of that impulsive decision, I lost the grip of the girl behind me. The two didn’t seem like they would make it and my heart sank to the bottoms of my feet . I’m through the door.

“Guys! RUN!” Someone shouted.

“Hurry! Don’t let it get you!” yelled another.

I tried to grab them by the hand to pull them inside, but I couldn’t reach. I panic. One little blonde girl strangely had longer arms and was able to save one of them. She reached out to save the last one but fell inside herself. We all saw that neither of them moved and it was too late.

They became completely still with an expression of terror fixed on their faces. We had to keep moving or the creepy neon colors will get us too. I closed the door while guilt knocked my nerves around.

We were panicked and tried to figure out a way to save them. I admitted what I did, and apologized but no one really paid attention, except the girl who was behind me while we were walking through. She stood next to me  and rested her head on my shoulder. I embraced her and continued to tell her I was sorry. That I should have thought of others than only myself. That I betrayed her and the other girls’ safety. That I gave her a reason to fear for her life. That I shouldn’t have let go.

My shoulder became damp.

One person bravely opened the door again and all we could see through it was pitch black.

“I know this is really hard for all of you, but don’t stop me. I’m going in,” he said.

“That’s what she said,”  someone blurted.

The guys chuckled.

The girls scoffed.

I laughed along with the guys.

He went through.

We stood in silence as while the darkness absorbed the lights from our flashlights. We called out to him but there was no answer. Just an muffled sound of our own voices, kind of like talking into a pillow. Another one of us walked through. We called his name, and the same thing happened.

Then we all went through. I was so scared. I really wanted to hold someone’s hand. But before I knew it, we were somewhere else.

Obnoxious, flickering, florescent lights.

A red EXIT sign.

A red and green light indicating occupancy.

We looked at each other in confusion, and cautiously walked through the exit.

Asteroid. We’re on an asteroid in an asteroid belt.

Oh, and look. There’s a playground down this crag.

TBC, maybe.

Last Night’s Dream: 10.24.2012

I had a dream of my grandfather’s passing, who is currently suffering from Alzheimer’s. We had a party for him to see him off.

It was held in a park with a few trees and plenty of grassy areas and small hills. The atmosphere was cool and humid with the sun barely touching the horizon. It was very pleasant and serene.

He was able to walk. I spent as much time with him as I could.

No one was sad or crying.

Mr. Bunny somehow manifested himself inside my sleeps. I had reoccurring dreams of him a couple of years ago. Above is my drawing of him.
He did not give me pleasant dreams. In fact, he continually attempted to dress me in a carrot costume so he could eat me. His other hobbies consist of Backgammon, maintaining his bow-tie collection, and tea parties. If he wants to eat you, he will first charm you with his fluffy adorableness and his gentleman-like demeanor.
And then he’ll bare his molester-grin, asks you your dress size, and then starts to iron a carrot costume on a flower-print ironing board.

Last Night’s Dream: 2.19.2011

We had a private wedding, a familiar stranger and I. I felt we knew each other for a long time, but you’ve been absent for so long, I could barely recognize you. You took on many faces, like masks. Still in my poofy, pink dress, you took my hand and we ran away from our parents like fugitives, before I could even say “I do.” We took shelter in huge, abandoned, flamboyant palace. It was laced with bold colors and gold, kind of like Byzantine architecture, but circus-like. We were almost flying, we ran so fast. I hadn’t had the chance to speak of even admire my surroundings. I only noticed that your face changed.

You found a dark room to hide in and pulled me in. You left the door cracked so we could see if anyone was coming. Before we could celebrate a successful runway, “CYYYYRIIIIIL! WHERE ARE YOU? CLEAN THE BATHROOM!” I didn’t know whose mom that was but she sounded pretty pissed. The eyes roll and the clothes come back on. I dragged my feet out of the hiding place, and you suddenly grabbed my hand and started running. Your face changes.

We ended up in a suburb somewhere in the tropics. There wasn’t a person in sight. We pillaged as many banana trees we could come across and picked out a random house to live in. We headed straight towards the bathroom to see if the pissed voice out of nowhere was waiting for me there. Coast was clear and we went about our business creating banana babies for our children. I mean, AS our children. We made at least 15 babies. Babies that were bananas. Bananas that we stole from everyone’s front lawns. They had Q-tip/toothpick appendages and faces drawn with Sharpie. We named 4 of them in honor of our parents, and the rest were named after obscure vegetables. During his time, you had the best face of all. No mask, it was just your own head, and you were quite beautiful. We lived happily without anyone else. No neighbors, relatives, or friends. Just the two of us and our banana children. “Lovin’ You” by Minnie Ripperton starts playing in the background and the credits rolled.


The dream ends and I woke up. I had banana oatmeal for breakfast.

I felt guilty.

Last Night’s Dream: 2.14.2011

You hopped out of your motorcycle and approached me slowly with a knowingly gaze. Your face was aged and your hair was graying, and you had a very becoming beard. I almost bawled at the sight of you and engulfed you with a tight embrace.

Your little brother was awkwardly standing by, peeling the label off a beer bottle, waiting to depart on the motorcycle. We all hopped on at the same time, and fell sideways. After two more tries, we were able to drive off into the sunset.

Your little brother fell off and died along the way and you didn’t seem to be bothered. I fell off and survived. You were bothered, but didn’t come back to pick me up. Good thing I had my jet-pack.